My Dwelling, and His

These flowers are more than just a scene; they are my dream. Ask my sisters, they will tell you, all I ever wanted out of my physical space is that it is filled with natural light, and that there is natural beauty upon which to rest my eyes.

I noticed them first on Shabbat. Even though they are to my right and left each time, I enter and exit my house--- all week long.

It took Shabbat to get me to notice.

Shabbat is the day we disconnect from the bigger world to get reconnected with our inner world.

With family. With community.

Shabbat is so effective for me in that my brain, undistracted—- begins to coalesce in imaginative ideas and beautiful prose. On Shabbat, I am aware of what is going on around me on a more internal level. I feel the vibrations of each family member packed into the kitchen, lounging in the living room, and gathered in the dining room. 

I see the red flowers outside of my window. They are directly in vision across from my favorite position on the couch; the red Camellia's framed in the window that I never noticed quite this way before. I sit with their beauty. I let everyone know I am bathing in their red glow.

Everything captured and processed on Shabbat leaves me in seconds once it is over, like a vacuum I am sucked back into the weekday chaos.

If I do manage a moment of awareness, I try and recall the time born of restfulness. I almost never can. I did not want to forget this scene. But I did. Until today. When it was almost too late, they are slowly falling off one by one.

It is not just Shabbat; God wants to be present in our surroundings at all times. Just like I want the beauty and memories to remain.

At the beginning of this week's Parsha, Hashem says, "Make for me a Mikdash, a holy space, and I will dwell within you."

The last 11 months have underscored how important personal space is.

Clean, organized, quiet, aesthetically pleasing are all things I need to feel comfortable. 

What makes God feel comfortable? How do I make sure He feels comfortable dwelling within me?

I start by noticing the beauty He provides. Once a week is not enough, daily.

I slow down. I take in the scenes of my life and don't take any of them for granted.

I want flowers. He wants mitzvot.

 I am placated. My dwelling serene.

He deserves no less.